W7 Assign Wald

Managing Conflict through Negotiation

Disclaimer: Note that this webinar is intended to provide useful information

but should not be construed as individual legal or financial fact, advice, or

opinion. Ms. Coussens is not a representative of todays host or sponsors.

Presented by: Michelle Coussens, Plan B Consulting

Copyright Michelle Coussens 2021

Session Agenda

• Conflict and approaches to resolution

• Introduction to Negotiation

• Understanding your negotiation skills and style

• Navigating the negotiation process

• Finding and using your unique powers

• Positive and negative behaviors when negotiating

Plus, a Negotiation Action Planning Worksheet!

Conflict And Approaches To Resolution

Sources of Conflict

• Every workplace has some amount of conflict

• The cause of conflict is often related to differences in values, attitudes, needs, expectations, perceptions, resources, and/or personalities. Common types include:

• Administrative procedures

• Costs

• Equipment and facilities

• Manpower resources

• Personality clashes (damaging)

• Priorities

• Responsibilities

• Scheduling (frequent)

• Technical opinions and trade-offs (can be beneficial)

• Proper skills in dealing with conflict can allow you to more efficiently and effectively resolve issues, increasing organizational productivity.

• Conflict resolution can result in an opportunity to build energy, creativity, and innovation

Conflict Resolution Approaches

Conflict resolution strategy requirements:

❑ Must allow conflict to be settled without irreparable harm to organizational objectives

❑ Each of these approaches can be effective and useful depending on the situation

❑ Which approach is best is based on assessment of the situation

Approach Comparison Competing Collaborating Avoiding Accommodating Compromising

Forcing, controlling,

dominating

Problem-solving, win-

win Withdrawal Obliging, smoothing “Give and take style”

When one party goes all

out to win its position

while ignoring the needs

and concerns of the other

party

Reach an agreement

that satisfies the

concerns of both

parties

Postponing an issue for

later or withdrawing from

the situation altogether

Areas of agreement are

emphasized, and the

areas of disagreement

are downplayed

Conflicting parties

bargain to reach a

mutually acceptable

solution

As the intensity of a

conflict increases, the

tendency for a forced

conflict is more likely,

which results in a win-lose

situation where one party

wins at the expense of the

other party

Involves open and

direct communication

Regarded as a

temporary solution

because the problem

and conflict continue to

reoccur over and over

again

Actual conflict itself may

not be resolved; A party

may sacrifice its own

concerns or goals in

order to satisfy the

concerns or goals of the

other party

Both parties give up

something in order to

reach a decision and

leave with some

degree of satisfaction

Approach Comparison (cont’d)

Competing Collaborating Avoiding Accommodating Compromising

Use when:

• A “do or die”

situation is

present

• Stakes are high

• Important

principles are at

stake

• Relationship

among parties is

not important

• A quick decision

must be made

Use when:

• Both parties

need to win

• You want to

decrease cost

• You want create

a common

power base

• Skills are

complementary

• Time is

sufficient

• Trust is present

Use when:

• You cannot win

• Stakes are low

• Stakes are high,

but you are not

prepared

• You want to gain

time

• You want to

maintain

neutrality or

reputation

• You think

problem will go

away

• You win by

delaying

Use when:

• Goal to be reached is

overarching

• You want to create

obligation for a trade-

off at a later time

• Stakes are low

• Liability is limited

• Any solution is

adequate

• You want to be

harmonious and create

good will

• You would lose

anyway

• You want to gain time

Use when:

• Both parties need

to win

• You are in a

deadlock

• Time is not

sufficient

• You want to

maintain the

relationship among

the involved

parties

• You will get

nothing if you do

not compromise

• Stakes are

moderate

Conflict Resolution Process Interpersonal discussion techniques can be used to resolve conflicts in a manner that satisfies both parties’ interests. How to use them:

Acknowledge the conflict and its effect on

progress or results Look for common goals and common interests

Separate people and emotions from the

issue

Identify as many alternatives as possible to resolve

the issue and satisfy the interests of both parties

Present issues in terms of the underlying

interests or requirements

Resist the urge to compromise (“meet in the

middle”). Instead, look at the issue from different

perspectives—challenge your and others’

assumptions and constraints

LISTEN to the other party’s interests/

requirements

Agree on the alternative that best meets both

parties’ interests, as well as the collective

organization

Agree on what the issue is

Obtain the commitment of all members of both

parties on what will be done to implement the

solution

Introduction To Negotiation

What is negotiation?

• The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines negotiation as, “a natural phenomenon marked by gradual changes that leads toward a particular result, or a series of actions or operations directed toward a particular result.”

• The process through which two or more parties seek an acceptable (rate of) exchange for items they own or control

• Parties to a negotiation often see themselves as opponents

• However, all key stakeholders are interrelated

• We will take an integrative approach today (Principled Negotiation)

• Expand the size of the pie

• Versus Distributive approach (size of pie is fixed)

• Sample opportunities to use it: acquiring adequate resources, motivating personnel, dealing with obstacles, making project goal trade-offs, handling failure, and maintaining communication

The Negotiation Process

• A way to develop a mutually acceptable outcome when the initial desired outcome for each party conflicts.

• Managers and other employees will often negotiate with a client, with team members, with vendors, and with other project/activity stakeholders.

• Departments operate within the limits of finite resources that require allocation among different and shifting priorities, thus there is constant negotiation occurring cross-functionally.

Three Stages of the Negotiation Process

• Gather information, analyze and evaluate your research

• Determine your criteria for a successful negotiation

• Consider the other party’s wants/needs

• Understand risk/opportunity of each option

Pre-Negotiation

• Follow protocol of the meeting (casual setting versus official)

• Probe the other party to better understand their wants/needs/reasoning

• Bargain/compromise

• Come to a mutual agreement

Negotiation

• Evaluate the effectiveness of the negotiation

• Lessons Learned

Post Negotiation

Understanding Your Negotiation Skills And Style

Negotiation skills are a part of leadership

• Leadership skills involve the ability to guide, motivate, and influence others.

• Leadership is a complex of beliefs, communication patterns, and behaviors that influence the functioning of a group to move toward completing a task.

• These skills also require capabilities such as resilience, communication, problem solving, critical thinking, negotiation, and other interpersonal skills.

• Being a leader doesn’t mean you always have the (only) correct answer.

• Ask the right questions, of the right people, at the right times

• Challenge yourselves– learn about others’ opinions, concerns, and perspectives

• Devil’s advocate

• Incorporate others’ perspectives into shared solutions

How to assess your own negotiation skills and styles

• https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/tests/career/negotiation -skills-test

• Communication E-Guide

• “Master the 4 Levels of Communication for Leadership Success”

• p. 4 (Communication Skills Assessment) • p. 7 (The Listening Self-Test) • p. 10 (Do you “Bulldoze” or “Peace-Keep”)

• 360 review feedback

• Review of past results

Characteristics of effective negotiators

• A positive attitude

• Knowledge of the negotiation process

• An understanding of people

• Grasp of the subject/situation at hand

• Creativity

• Strong communication skills

Navigating The Negotiation Process

Steps in negotiating

6) Agree on the best options for both parties.

5) Generate as many options as possible for reaching your goal.

4) Discuss and agree on a strategy to reach a goal that benefits both of you.

3) Understand the goal of the other person you are trying to persuade.

2) Realize what you really need and what you want, and why

1) Identify and define the real situation or issue.

Shift from the presenting issue to the underlying concern.

Preparing to negotiate

• Consider your relationship and associated implications

• Power sources

• Access and analyze information

• What you need; what you want

• What you are willing to give up

• Commonalities, as well as points of likely conflict

• How your POV fits within the company’s priorities and strategies

• How much time can be taken to come to agreement

Get to the real issue: The “Five Whys” Technique

Presenting Issue:

We need a new copier.

Why 1 Why do we need a new copier? Because the current one keeps jamming.

Why 2 Why does the copier keep jamming? Because the paper keeps getting stuck in the input tray

Why 3 Why does the paper keep getting stuck in the input tray? Because monthly cleaning maintenance isn’t being done.

Why 4 Why isn’t monthly cleaning maintenance being done? Because no one called the vendor to come in and do it.

Why 5 Why didn’t anyone call the vendor to come in and do it? Because no one was assigned to do it or was keeping track of the time since the

last cleaning.

Situational influences

• Few conflicts occur in deciding whether or not a task should be done

• Instead, they are typically about how they will be done

• Separate the people from the problem

• Resolve conflicts without losing control of emotions

• Location

• Easier and advantageous to negotiate on your own turf

• Physical setting

• Seating arrangements, size of room, amenities, etc.

• Audience

• People tend make fewer concessions when audience is watching

• Impression management

• Self-presentation symbols/behavior

Exchange Dependencies

High dependency on another

• Determine what you have to offer that will appeal to them (WIIFM)

• “Court” them (interpersonal relationship)

Low dependency on another

• Allocate less time and energy relative to others

• However, continue to foster the relationship

• In case dependencies or roles change later

• In case a new situation arises later where you are more dependent upon them

What deadlock means

• An impasse

• Inability to reach agreement

• Neither side willing to compromise or back-down on their position

• No decision results

• No progress moves forward

Techniques to break deadlocks

1: Turn Problem Situations into Choices

2: Turn Solutions into Smaller Choices

3: Limit the Scope of the Problem

4: Increase the Scope of the Problem

5: Take a Break

6: State the Other Side’s Case

7: Search for Common Interests

8: Seek Additional Input

9: Focus on Areas of Alignment

10: Consider making concessions as a gesture of good faith

Degree of agreement

Grudging compliance

Compliance

Cooperation

Commitment

How to seek commitment

• You should work on educating the person being influenced in two respects:

• How the result will benefit the organization, as well as the person you are influencing

• Your rationale for WHY you are working on this needed result

• These two respects overlap, but it is important that you understand the need to distinguish between the value and the logic of your preferred result.

Finding And Using Your Unique Powers

The meaning of power

• Power is not a “bad” word.

• Potential ability of one person to influence others to carry out orders or do something they otherwise would not have done

• Potential ability of one person in an organization to influence other people to bring about desired outcomes.

• Provides the ability to achieve goals or outcomes that the person in power desires

• Power can be used to influence and persuade others.

Influencing others • Influence=the composite of:

• Personal power source(s) • Individual communication style(s) • Persuasion

• The Cohen-Bradford Influence Model • Identify what other people value • Frames a win-win proposal • Based on the law of reciprocity

• Belief that all positive and negative things pay back over time • Assumptions:

• Assume the best in people (potential allies) • Clarify why you wish to influence the other person/people • Identify what drives their actions (diagnose their mindset) • Determine what “currencies” are at your disposal (social capital)

• Inspiration-related • Task-related • Position-related • Relationship-related • Personal-related

• Make use of give and take strategies (barter)

Types of currency

• People

• Money

• Supplies

• Physical space

• Prioritization

• Time escalation

• Pieces of information/data

• Subject matter expertise (SME)

• Networking contacts/connections

• Reputation/credibility

• Elbow grease/sweat equity

• Opportunity for visibility/recognition

• Inclusion in projects/committees

• Appreciation/rewards

• Sponsorship or championing

• Other?

Influence preparation

• How well do you know this person? What do you know about them?

• Positive and negative

• What power do you have in relation to the person(s) and situation?

• What conflict management approach/style do they tend to default to?

• How much do(es) your need(s) matter?

• How much do(es) your want(s) matter?

• What long-term relational impact do you want to have versus resolving the situation at hand?

Influence strategy 1. Plan a flow of sequencing that leads them

down a path

• Ask questions you already have planned the answers to

2. Discuss one piece of evidence at a time

3. Share the benefits of your proposal and how any potential risks were already considered

4. Help others visualize your process and end result

5. Highlight and prioritize benefits based on what will most resonate with your audience

6. Use Persuasive Framing

• Shape the narrative

7. Cultivate champions

8. The value of story-telling

9. Consider taking sales training

Some hard influence tactics

• Go over their heads to a higher authority

• Give an order

• Withhold support or cooperation on other things

• Solicit and gain allies on your side

• Withhold information

• Find legal or procedural grounds

Some soft influence

tactics

• Stroke their egos

• Tie the ask to their goals and values

• Cultivate personal connection

• Seek training or development to bolster your credibility and value

• Offer something that will be viewed as a personal sacrifice

• Make them think the idea was their own

Powers of persuasion

• Persuade=More from influence to actually changing another person’s beliefs, attitudes, understanding or perspective

• Find their pain points and/or wish lists.

• Determine and leverage your power sources • Types of power: Legitimate, Reward, Coercive, Soft, Expert, Referent

• Responses to power: resistance, compliance, or commitment

• Establish credibility

• Seek common ground

• Build mutual trust

• Connect personally and emotionally

• Questions to ask yourself: • Who do I need to persuade and why?

• What is the situation that I want to influence? Is that a need or a want?

• What techniques have worked in the past? What techniques have NOT worked in the past?

Persuade others to commit to your

preferences • Assess others’ needs, wants, and styles

• Also understand what you truly need (versus want) and what you have to offer them

• Apply social capital and reciprocity • Get commitment rather than mere

compliance

• Address resistance to change

• Types of resistance • Aggressive • Passive • Passive-aggressive

• Countering resistance to change • Playing devil’s advocate • Taking small steps

• Reasons for resistance • Employees vs. managers • Others

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Persuasion Strategies

37

Considerations

• What is the importance of the project, the person, re my personal goals & objectives?

• What is the urgency?

• Is this a battle or a war?

• Will my professional reputation be enhanced or hurt?

• Will the outcome create excessive stress/pressure?

• Do I have any flexibility? Is there time to use seek a more collaborative approach?

• What can/should I concede?

Strategies

• Justify needs in terms of business impact.

• Follow up in writing/email.

• Be clear in your request (SMART).

• Solicit advocates and champions.

• Balance facts/data with emotional appeal.

• Take advantage of the trigger of reciprocity.

• Present your credentials or previous experience with the suggestion.

• Consider that there may be more than one right answer.

Some specific tactics

• Break the situation into chunks, and seek agreement on a small piece first

• Start with a big ask that you know is unlikely to pass so that you can default to what you really want

• Make your initial offer or concession small with some things to add into the mix if they don’t take the first offer.

• Offer future assistance or resources (favors)

Positive And Negative Behaviors When Negotiating

Some starting principles

• Build and nurture relationships BEFORE negotiating

• Don’t give ultimatums or make stubborn demands

• Reveal only what is required

• Come prepared

• Evidence; fact versus opinion

• Understand the positive and negative ripple, ongoing, and long-term effects of each potential option

• Depersonalize yourself from the situation

• What would you want if you, yourself, were not part of the situation?

• What would you want if it was your company or your money at stake?

• Don’t rule out piloting different potential solutions.

Build and maintain trust, rapport and authenticity

• Create and communicate a relatable vision of benefits

• Convey an appropriate sense of urgency

• Build in engagement

• Link the message to the bigger picture regarding the organization’s priorities

• Use understood and relatable language, jargon, and acronyms

• Remember that their perception is your reality

Cultivate Partnerships

• Build relationships • Foster and nurture them

• Understand their roles, functions, pressures, and perspectives

• Align common interests and bond

• Hold open, honest communication without “hidden” agendas

• Consider that: • You may know some things about a

situation that your partner does not.

• Your partner likely knows some things about a situation you do not.

• Both of you may make assumptions and should be sure to communicate those to each other.

Invoke the spirit of

reciprocity

• Takers… like to get more than they give. They tilt reciprocity in their own favor, putting their own interests ahead of others’ needs…

• High self-interest, Low other-interest

• Givers are a relatively rare breed. They tilt reciprocity in the other direction, preferring to give more than they get

• Low self-interest, high other-interest

• “Otherish*” recognize the importance of protecting their own well-being while giving to others (reciprocity)

• High self-interest, high other-interest

Source: Give and Take… by Adam M. Grant, PH.D.

Employ Active

Listening

Skills

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• Be open-minded

• There may be more than one “right answer”.

• Leading doesn’t mean having all the answers– ask the right questions of the right people at the right times

• Seek evidence and differentiate between fact and opinion

• Acknowledge and show appreciation for others’ perspectives

• Visual behaviors to display:

• Make eye contact

• Pause for acknowledgement

• Paraphrase what you hear

• Avoid problem-solving and just process what you hear

• Lean in, figuratively and literally

• Nod your head, but with caution

• Don’t be (and watch out in others for): faking, self-consciousness, armchair therapy, narcissism

• Check out: The Lost Art of Listening: How Learning to Listen Can Improve Relationships, by Michael P. Nichols, PhD, 2009, The Guilford Press.

Persuasion “Don’ts” • Start with a hard-sell

• Push, over-aggressiveness

• Refuse to entertain compromise

• Talk more than listen

• Expect quick resolution at any cost

• Avoid negative attribution

• Our subconscious may attribute intentions to others that may be untrue or exaggerated.

• Avoid this default

• Not understanding your audience

• Persuader (doing the persuading)

• Persuadee (person you are attempting to persuade)

• Readiness and willingness

• How they prefer to be communicated with

Tips for Handling Emotional Escalations

• Remain calm, cool, and collected • Don’t let your own emotions get in the way of a successful negotiation.

• Try to diffuse the situation • Empathy, acknowledgement, and patience are powerful tools

• Consider dealing with less emotional issues first • Focus on the items you agree about first

• Focus on smaller decisions that hold less weight (and create less stress)

• Know your “Hot Button” issues, and those of others • Either avoid or approach with caution

Counter Unproductive Behavior

• Don’t retaliate against those who share the hard truth.

People hide information.

• Ask for evidence and distinguish between facts and opinions.

People rely on opinions.

• Encourage others to ask questions.

People are told what to do.

• People are rewarded for collaborative efforts.

People are out for themselves.

• Dissent is encouraged. People need to be

right.

• People are allowed to make mistakes without punitive fear.

People blame others for mistakes.

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Role Model Civil Behavior

• Avoid marginalization based on POV

• Read environments

• Show empathy

• Find common ground

• Coach others to find the positive in others

• Manage communication/messaging

• Adapt your communication style to the individual

• Refer to people by their chosen pronouns and names

• Be self-aware– recognize and address your own biases

• Pursue different perspectives

• Mitigate destructive conflict while fostering constructive conflict

Sometimes it makes sense to say “no” or “not now” without guilt

49 49

• Be courteous but assertive

• Consider opportunity cost

• Offer an alternative:

“I’m not able to

attend tonight’s

virtual meetup.”

“This is beyond the

scope of the project

and I’m not able to add

this in.”

“What would be

the impact to

the business if I

did this later?” “What would you like

me to put aside in order

to complete this?”

“I’m not able

to partner with

you under

these terms.”

Negotiation Case Study #1

You and a colleague are supposed to coordinate on an assignment. You both committed to doing it over a month ago, but your colleague is running more and more behind. How can you use what you have learned in the course to negotiate getting what you need from them?

Negotiation Case Study #2

You realize that you need to receive the prototype from PD earlier than you originally thought in order to finish creating the campaign. How do you go about negotiating earlier delivery of the prototype?

You work in the marketing department and are working on a campaign to promote an upcoming new product. You are reliant upon product development (PD) to complete their prototype as input into creating the campaign.

Learnings from The Prisoner’s Dilemma

A and B together committed a crime. Now, their prison sentences depend on their cooperation with the court as follows:

• Both are silent: Both each get one- year on lesser charges.

• A speaks; B is silent: A gets probation; B gets 10 years

• B speaks; A is silent: B gets probation; A gets 10 years

• Both speak: Both get 10 years

If two (or more) people are each given a choice in order to “give up” the other, unless they have trust in each other and value the common good, they will each suffer when one or both make a decision that is self-serving only,

“When facing a decision involving others,

don’t just look for the solution that maximizes

your own return. Look at the bigger picture

and find a broader solution that produces the

best return for everyone. And then look for

ways to encourage cooperation”.

– Robert E. Gunther

The Truth About Making Smart Decisions

EXAMPLE:

Additional Resources

• Cohen, Allan R., and David L. Bradford. Influence Without Authority. 2nd ed., Wiley, 2005.

• Conger, Jay A. “The Necessary Art of Persuasion”, included in HBR's 10 Must Reads on Communication, Harvard Business Review Press, 2013.

• Gitomer, Jeffrey. Jeffrey Gitomer’s Little Green Book of Getting Your Way: How to Speak, Write, Present, Persuade, Influence, and Sell Your Point of View to Other. FT Press, 2007.

• Grant, Adam M, PH.D. Give and Take: A Revolutionary Approach to Success. Viking, 2013.

• Tinghitella, John and Nicole Martin. No Fear Negotiation for Women. 2020. https://www.nofearnegotiation.com/

Today’s takeaways…

• Realize your negotiation style and skills

• Understand the common elements of the negotiation process

• Recognize and apply the steps of the negotiation process

• Understand standard negotiation strategies, tactics, and techniques to reach a win-win solution.

• Create a plan of action to be better prepared for and successful in your next negotiation

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Presenter

Michelle Coussens Plan B Consulting

[email protected]

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